Getting over the EX

It’s been a month since we had that horrific dinner.

You sat across from me in a room full of people I felt were all laughing at me. As you said those words I felt like my heart was being ripped apart piece by piece endlessly. The pain has not left me.

I loved you with every piece of me but I was an excuse for you. I was your get away. I’ve beat myself up for staying for so long even when I knew you were shit!

“This is not working”

Damn sure it isn’t. You’ve tossed my heart around and now you’ve moved on to fresh meat.

I’ve been miserable for one month. Worst thing is I took my annual leave to spend time with you and you ditched me right before it even began.

The hell do you mean by “It’s over”. What the hell is that?

My friends cannot place it.

“He treated you badly so why are you sad. It’s even a good thing he’s gone”

That must be easy to say when you’re not the one in this condition.

Wine, romantic movies, tireless hours of stalking, lack of sunlight, soiled sheets, endless rolls of toilet paper.

I AM TIRED.

I’M GETTING OVER YOU.

It’s obvious you’ve moved on.


 

I know many of us have found ourselves here one way or the other.

Someone broke us so much we could not imagine leaving the house.

Hearts pumped even harder when you got a phone call. It might just be him.

In no particular order, these were some things that helped me get out

  • The Best Revenge

MOVE ON. That’s the best revenge. After a breakup, we feel so many different things and anger pops in. You want to pay back. How can he hurt me after all I’ve done for him.

Well…. he did. He left and he’s gone. I know it’s not easy but move on. Get away from the past and start to focus on yourself.

I must confess. The hardest part for me was getting memories to leave my mind. I guess I didn’t need to. The memories have been made. Don’t dwell on what was but what is! Live in today and right now the relationship is over.

  • Stop Blaming

I could write a whole book on how he messed things up. If he didn’t do this I could have done that. These thoughts would run through my head constantly. I would drift off and just occupy my mind with blaming him.

Stop It! Just because he hurt you, does not mean the earth has stopped. You have to take responsibility for yourself.

Get up and move!

  • Own it!

Take back the power. Take back yourself.

One thing I kept telling myself was “You existed before him, you’ll exist after but you need to do more than just exist. You need to own your life”

We get so sucked up in all the emotions that we forget that we can feel without them. We can smile without them. You don’t need him to crack a joke before you get it.

Do just that! Own yourself again!

  • Move forward

This part isn’t the easiest but it’s the best. Move forward.

You really don’t need all that negative energy around you. It will only drag you deeper into depression.

I got back to work. I occupied myself with things and people I loved.

Focus on the other things you love. If you never got to find out then find out now. You might just be the next big thing.

It’s not the easiest thing to do but you need to let go of the past. Holding on will only depress you.

I constantly asked myself “why not me?”

It’s ok baby girl. HEAL! just HEAL!

Take your time tho. It won’t all happen in a day.

 

STAY HAPPY♥♥

INCOMPLETE SENTENCES

The first day I met you was…
The first time we kissed we…
You made my legs shiver when you… 
With you it felt complete but…
I loved you with all my heart but…
I wanted to be with you but… 
You made me happy when…

It felt like something was always missing somehow. It wasn’t me… It was you… No! I said that wrong. Or did I? 

I was never certain. It was like I was happy but… Like you were giving me all but… I know this sounds selfish but it’s horrible to be in an unhappy relationship. It’s worse to be in a happy one but…

Walking away was not easy because I was sure I wanted to stay but… It tortured me more because I tried to find reasons but… I looked at you sometimes and wished I knew something. Anything at all would do but… I had one of those “I don’t want to leave but I gotta go” moments a lot and it was not pretty.

There’s this bitter-sweet feeling you have when you know you have to walk away from something or someone you want to be with because you know it’s not healthy for you. I know it’s hard. It takes time too but think about it this way – Crying for a few days beats crying through the relationship. 

Nobody deserves that hurt. Nobody deserves to not know what the problem is. Nobody deserves that much uncertainty.