Our First Date

I met him on my way to work months ago. His wandering eyes took him to my phone’s screen. He noticed I was playing a Jon Bellion song and that was our conversation starter. I was really excited to find someone that could agree with me on how Jon makes amazing music. I don’t think we said a lot to each other about anything else.

I got to work and couldn’t wait to tell my boyfriend about my encounter with my “Jon Bellion Guy”. I honestly did not notice anything else. He made my day. It’s really not that easy to find other Jon Bellion fans and the whole day I just kept replaying his words in my head.

What I was feeling was appreciation. Meeting him was my morning gift from the universe and I was very grateful. I told every ear that cared to listen to me. I met someone that loves Jon Bellion too. I couldn’t remember his name, what he looked like or anything but I was excited still. Even if I never got to meet him again, He’ll have that tag in my head just for reference.

Almost a year later, following the failure of a relationship, the loss of loved ones and a new beginning with someone old, I got a phone call.

I’d been dodging phone calls for the longest. Did not want to talk to anybody. Really wanted to talk less… more like nothing.

I reluctantly picked. I heard a familiar voice at the end of the line. A voice that was not regular but has been heard before. I’m not sure why he called that day. I hardly answered to strange numbers. He sounded really nervous and from the moment I echoed his “hello”, I knew I was in for a good laugh.

We talked a few more times and I decided to go on a date. I had never been on a first date and I was curious. I also needed to give someone a chance… someone new.

 


We made plans and the day finally came.

I had an amazing evening!

I’m not sure about protocols but it was a good date. He was a gentleman. There was a lot of laughter from listening to people sing. There were a few “awws” when a man proposed to his girlfriend.

He looked like he was enjoying himself. He seemed comfortable and nervous at the same time. It kinda made me laugh. He was funny and friendly and nice. He made me feel more comfortable with him.

I was open. I was smiling and laughing out loud. Even in my black outfit, I could be that bright.

I enjoyed myself. I wished I didn’t need to go home where it was all moody and quiet. I was happy to be free again.

 


Dear Jon Bellion Guy,

Thank you! For an amazing first date and an amazing evening. Thank you for giving me a chance. Thank you for releasing me.

 

Advertisements

Getting over the EX

It’s been a month since we had that horrific dinner.

You sat across from me in a room full of people I felt were all laughing at me. As you said those words I felt like my heart was being ripped apart piece by piece endlessly. The pain has not left me.

I loved you with every piece of me but I was an excuse for you. I was your get away. I’ve beat myself up for staying for so long even when I knew you were shit!

“This is not working”

Damn sure it isn’t. You’ve tossed my heart around and now you’ve moved on to fresh meat.

I’ve been miserable for one month. Worst thing is I took my annual leave to spend time with you and you ditched me right before it even began.

The hell do you mean by “It’s over”. What the hell is that?

My friends cannot place it.

“He treated you badly so why are you sad. It’s even a good thing he’s gone”

That must be easy to say when you’re not the one in this condition.

Wine, romantic movies, tireless hours of stalking, lack of sunlight, soiled sheets, endless rolls of toilet paper.

I AM TIRED.

I’M GETTING OVER YOU.

It’s obvious you’ve moved on.


 

I know many of us have found ourselves here one way or the other.

Someone broke us so much we could not imagine leaving the house.

Hearts pumped even harder when you got a phone call. It might just be him.

In no particular order, these were some things that helped me get out

  • The Best Revenge

MOVE ON. That’s the best revenge. After a breakup, we feel so many different things and anger pops in. You want to pay back. How can he hurt me after all I’ve done for him.

Well…. he did. He left and he’s gone. I know it’s not easy but move on. Get away from the past and start to focus on yourself.

I must confess. The hardest part for me was getting memories to leave my mind. I guess I didn’t need to. The memories have been made. Don’t dwell on what was but what is! Live in today and right now the relationship is over.

  • Stop Blaming

I could write a whole book on how he messed things up. If he didn’t do this I could have done that. These thoughts would run through my head constantly. I would drift off and just occupy my mind with blaming him.

Stop It! Just because he hurt you, does not mean the earth has stopped. You have to take responsibility for yourself.

Get up and move!

  • Own it!

Take back the power. Take back yourself.

One thing I kept telling myself was “You existed before him, you’ll exist after but you need to do more than just exist. You need to own your life”

We get so sucked up in all the emotions that we forget that we can feel without them. We can smile without them. You don’t need him to crack a joke before you get it.

Do just that! Own yourself again!

  • Move forward

This part isn’t the easiest but it’s the best. Move forward.

You really don’t need all that negative energy around you. It will only drag you deeper into depression.

I got back to work. I occupied myself with things and people I loved.

Focus on the other things you love. If you never got to find out then find out now. You might just be the next big thing.

It’s not the easiest thing to do but you need to let go of the past. Holding on will only depress you.

I constantly asked myself “why not me?”

It’s ok baby girl. HEAL! just HEAL!

Take your time tho. It won’t all happen in a day.

 

STAY HAPPY♥♥

Is Bae really Bae?

There’s been this trend of lying boyfriends/girlfriends and side pieces lately and it is actually becoming sickening. Relationships these days always seem to have a “scum” story involved at the end and I’m honestly sick and tired of hearing stories of heart broken girls and guys.

YES! Some people are actually just helpless liars but I’ll leave some tips I think might help to curb this epidemic.

 

Take your time

There’s really no rush in this dating or courting life. No need to take things too far too soon. Both parties need to take their time and get to know each other. Some of us want bae to be bae 5 minutes after we meet. NO! It’s not just about the name. Time reveals a lot more than we think.

 

Be Friends

As much there are other things bringing both of you together, try to build friendship. Get to know this person on other levels. Talk about other things apart from how awesome both of you are together because that’s never going to come off as horrible even if it is. So try to relate on other levels. This could help you check what bae is doing with their time apart from loving you.

 

Be Watchful

I did not say snoop around o. I said be watchful. NO! they’re not the same thing. Take it easy. Stop assuming things before they are even said or done. How does your bae answer phone calls? How do they relate with others? How comfortable are they around you? When you guys are out check those eyes. Are they wandering in fear? Don’t be the crazy person please. Notice their actions. Words always sound good.

 

It’s about time we started knowing what and who we were to our supposed “significant other”. It’s great when we’re on the same page but it gets sour after a while if one person realizes they’ve been fooled the whole time.

I want to hear your stories and experiences with “undercover bae” so please share.

 

STAY HAPPY ♥♥