Dear Mr. X

I feel lost in your love. I don’t know if this is a good thing. I picture your smile, I constantly play your words in my head. Your words find a way to my heart but stick to the gates because doubt locked the doors. I want to believe you. A part of me does but my heart is too wounded to not let my brain think and you know how smart the brain gets.

You say you care. You say you miss me. You say you love me. Do you? Do the same words come out when you look at her. Does she melt your heart the way you do mine? Does she make your insides jump the way you make mine? Will it make a difference how you felt about her if she were here everyday like me.

I’m scared of so many things and losing you is at the top of the list. We’ve had the best moments and I am scared of the worst. The thought of you happy with someone else is painful. Like why can’t life just give you someone and let them come with a guarantee.

“Here is the eternal agreement that Mr X is yours forever. Nobody can take him away from you not even if they tried”

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