I woke up this morning to an amazing tweet that inspired this post (Yes! Inspiration for me comes from anything and everything. Your smile can literally inspire me. It lies in the way you interpret things basically). I read the tweet and immediately related to it.
“Being 19, 20, 21 crazy man.. Too young to have it all together but ya feel like you’re too old to not. Constantly praying for a guidance” – @thebrowndolll
I’m a 20 year old and a few years ago, I was not comfortable enough to say my age because I felt I was too young. I graduated in December, 2013 and turned 20 after my NYSC Service year. I can say it’s tough now. I’m at this point in my life where, like the tweet said, I am too young to have it all together but too old not to. At this point, it is too late for me to hold on and wait! Like wait for what? I’m here thinking of the next step and everything around me is shouting ‘CHILL!’. It can be frustrating and I cannot think of a day that passes that I do not pray to God for guidance.
My deal with Him is this – I did not push myself. All my life I literally went with the flow. I didn’t try extra hard so I can’t really say I was pushed or forced, I just pray and it happens. God has literally been spoon feeding me with life. Now, I’m a spoilt baby and He chooses to hold off? I have heard different things from “Oh maybe He’s trying to tell you something” to “It will come in due time, be patient” to “You’re still young jor, where are you rushing to?”. I don’t have a problem with these actually. People have their own perspectives in life.
In this year of pretty much having nothing to do, I have learnt a lot about myself. I’m not your living it up kind of person but I love a good time. I like the idea of having fun but I am one of the laziest people to. I want to travel and this is not just everybody is doing it, it’s because I really want to see the different cultures the world has to offer. I have a lot of crazy things I want. I love being alone. I have very few friends and I like my small circle (I believe they were hand picked for me by God 😄). In this year, I have also discovered that life is not black and white and sometimes you just love that grey area and it’s okay. It’s very easy for people to give you opinions about yourself using their own life paths and if you’re like me, it’s very hard to comprehend those.
My point is, at this age and if you ever feel in this position, just LIVE. Wake up and thank God that you are alive every morning, make the right decisions and make sure they don’t mar the future. Be happy. Don’t be afraid to discover yourself. It’s what life is about if you ask me – You learn things about yourself everyday and you constantly change. It will not always be rosy but just savor the happy times and work towards making the bad ones better. Trust me sulking is not going to help. Been there, done that.